Tag Archive | disquiet

Sometimes the best thing to do is to pretend it didn’t happen

Title – Candace Brushnell – SATC

In the journey of life, we meet many people who dislike us.  Most of the time, the dislike is warranted…in some cases it is unprecedented.

Warning – Rant and Rave ahead

Background to this – I met some of gal buddies over lunch last weekend and I had a blast. During the conversation, one the girls mentioned that she heard one of my colleagues constantly bad mouth me. I was shocked, not because I am the nicest person and no one ever dislikes me…but because I always sort of liked this colleague and never ever done anything to warrant this.

By the evening, I still hadn’t gotten over this…and I was still thinking about it. I wanted to hate this colleague, if I can’t, at least dislike her strongly. But to my dismay I realized that I.Actually.Do.Like.This.Person.

I also realized, that somewhere deep down, I wasn’t questioning that fact that she bitched about me. I knew it was true.

I also realized that the dislike and disquiet that I am feeling is not about her. They are about me. She just didn’t matter enough to dislike her. But I did. I mattered. I had hitched ride with her when needed a ride. I had worn my heart on my sleeve, like I always do. Acted like a hick that I always am.

It sickened me to think, every time I smiled and asked her to drop me on her way, she must have snickered. Every time I experienced a professional low, this girl must have celebrated. And I continued to be the hick that I am.

Now, every day, when I have to interact with her, I will have that distrust about her.  I wear this strong skepticism colored glasses and worried that I will misconstrue even the innocent sentences. It’s a lose-lose situation for me either way.

So, that brings to my musing today. Is knowledge really the power?  Are you better off without knowing some things?